TNG Deathmatch Episode 8: The Battle vs Attached

Oooh, two episodes dealing (sort of) with Picard’s past! The loss of his old ship, the Stargazer, versus his long-buried feelings for Beverly Crusher. Okay, I’m reaching a little for these comparisons, I know.

 

The Battle is one that I remembered feeling was one of the better episodes from the first season, though watching it now I have absolutely no idea why. The Ferengi turn up, having found Picard’s old ship adrift in space (and apparently in pretty good condition, despite being abandoned mid-battle because it was about to blow up…?) and offer it as a gift to the captain. Naturally it’s merely a ruse by the Ferengi leader, DaiMon Bok, whose son was commander of the ship the Stargazer destroyed; he plans to mess with Picard’s mind, such that Picard will take control of the Stargazer and destroy the Enterprise, or be destroyed by it – I’m misremembering, I’m sure, but basically the plan is REVENGE by mind control.

 

The mind control is of the “staggeringly obvious” type, relying on two cheesy-looking silver plastic props that glow red in a manner that’s not so much “ominous” as it is “three-bar electric fire”. It’s heralded by Picard suffering from headaches, which astonishes Crusher as people in the 24^th Century just don’t get those anymore. (Another strand of the 20^th-Century-bashing from season one – the frequent references to illnesses that Crusher simply can’t believe we struggled with, not in a tone of historical curiosity but as though humans were idiots for not knowing how to not have headaches.) It’s ridiculous – a headache is a symptom of a thousand possible ailments. It could simply be muscle tension! Do people not get tense on the Enterprise? Huh, well, I guess they don’t; all part and parcel of Roddenberry’s vision of perfect 24^th Century humanity.

 

I mean, in its favour, The Battle at least tells a clear story relatively straightforwardly; it features Patrick Stewart losing his grip on reality amid some nicely-done ghost effects, and has a couple of decent conversations between Riker and the Ferengi first officer, Kazago, that manage to give the Ferengi a little dignity for once. (Don’t blink, you’ll miss it.) The idea that the Ferengi do have an ethical code - albeit one based on whether an action is likely to be profitable, rather than whether it is morally good or bad - at least suggests that someone was willing to think of them as a viable alien race worthy of development, rather than just a bad joke. But it also has the crew of the Enterprise failing to connect the dots on this incredibly obvious mystery (which makes them seem like morons) until Wesley turns up to pin the tail on the donkey for them (the same, only more so).

 

Turning to Attached – wow, is this an unfair match-up. Attached is one of my favourite episodes of the series, only slightly let down by its frustrating ending. The Enterprise arrives at Kes-Prytt, a planet populated by two factions, the Kes and the Prytt, the former seeing Federation admittance, the latter xenophobic and isolated. Crusher and Picard beam down, are kidnapped by the Prytt, then freed by Kes spies after being fitted with doohickeys that sync up their brainwaves and enable them to sense each others’ thoughts.

 

They go on the lam and try to deal with the awkwardness of hearing one another’s deepest thoughts, although – this being Star Trek – we don’t get anything too uncomfortable. Beverley rhapsodises about soup (soup?!) and Picard learns how she’s always holding some sarcastic witticism back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings; Beverley learns that Jean-Luc used to be in love with her. (At least, the dialogue implies that he used to be. It’s pretty plain that he still is, and they’re just tiptoeing around it.) Their fireside conversation is a lovely scene, mature and warm and delicate, and addresses that Beverley thought Jean-Luc was attracted to her, but hadn’t realised the depth of his feelings. They come across as very, very close, dear old friends who have been through a lifetime together and share an intimacy that has surpassed friendship or even romance and become something we don’t have an entirely correct name for yet. 

And then that stupid last scene ruins it all by having Picard suggest they shouldn't be afraid to explore their feelings for one another, and Crusher knocks him back by saying, "Perhaps we should be afraid".

 

It’s frustrating, to say the least, and seems borne of the series’ fear to embrace any kind of character development. Even Troi and Worf had to be test-driven in the fantasy realm before the writers finally let them pair up, but at least they did pair up. Crusher and Picard have been in will-they-won’t-they limbo since the first season, and even now, with the show ending, they can’t get together? I’m not one to hanker for characters to pair off for the sake of it (hello Ezri) but why dangle this if you’re not going to resolve it? Or at least, address why Crusher is so reluctant. She doesn’t want to ruin their friendship? She still loves Jack too much after all these years? She’d feel guilty banging her husband’s best friend? She doesn’t want to have an office romance? All possible, all valid. “Perhaps we should be afraid”? I don’t buy it. I don’t buy that Crusher would be afraid. 

I buy that the writers were afraid, that they might fear that allowing the romance to bloom would mean they'd have to work it in to every episode thereon, that they might worry about their ability to portray this romance convincingly. It's a shame they weren't willing to take that risk. It would have been worth it.

 

But that’s one scene and a minor gripe. It’s still a great episode, and that’s before we get into Riker’s escalating exasperation with the governments of Kes and Prytt, both of whom turn out to be equally paranoid. His parting shot to the Kes representative, who has filled the guest quarters with elaborate counter-espionage equipment: “Make sure you take all of this junk with you”. I like that Riker generally is less diplomatic and less patient than Picard. Maybe that’s why he held off from accepting a captaincy for so long.

 

WINNER: Attached