TNG Deathmatch Episode 11: The Big Goodbye vs Parallels

The Big Goodbye introduces the idea that the holodeck can kill you, which is ridiculous, an insane concept that was never corrected (and oh my god, it should have been corrected). Of all the issues I have with the concept of the holodeck, the idea that it is lethal is the one that makes my brain itch most. Whatever problems DS9’s Badda-Bing Badda-Bang had, it did at least show that it was possible to have a holodeck adventure that didn’t hinge on the stupid thing malfunctioning. Surely part of the reason that people go to the holodeck at all is to have an involving time that seems real, not that it actually is. So why do they have safety protocols that can be turned off, or that randomly fail at the slightest provocation? 

 

If the holodecks are the TNG equivalent of watching a movie, the people who use them must care about the characters they interact with. If I’m emotionally involved in a film, I get genuinely upset if the characters are imperilled or injured or killed. I don’t need to have the TV primed to blow up in my face in order to feel involved. If my TV tried to kill me, I wouldn’t use it again. The Enterprise has a room in it which repeatedly malfunctions and tries to kill the crew, and they keep using it. Every time, someone comes out bleeding and says casually, “The safeties must be off”, like it’s no big thing. This is insane. Fill the room with concrete and don’t go in there anymore. It's just one big randomised suicide booth.

 

I guess it’s not the fault of The Big Goodbye that the show kept returning to this lunatic concept, but it shouldn’t have been introduced in the first place. It’s a shame, because there’s a lot to like in this episode: Troi coaching Picard on his Jaradan pronunciation is a warm, natural scene that makes her seem useful and professional for once, and humanises him – the curmudgeonly edges are starting to be worn off the captain, as he struggles with pronunciation and admits to being a bad speller. I love Dr Crusher’s scene on the holodeck, swallowing her gum and giddily wondering, “Why aren’t we all being interrogated?”

 

I could have done without Picard’s absurd enthusiasm over just how realistic the holodeck is. He reminds me of myself when I rave about how Secret Of Mana was state-of-the-art in 1993 and how incredible it is that I can play it on my iPhone now. The rest of the crew are listening to him with the same indulgent blank stares as my six-year-old daughter gives me. Broadly, though, it’s one of the better episodes of the first season.

 

Parallels introduces the idea that there are countless parallel universes in Trek, which (from what I’ve read) a lot of fans do not like, because it renders the actions of our heroes ultimately meaningless, or something…? I don’t really get the objection, and I love this episode. (Plus, with the sudden proliferation of new Trek, Parallels allows the viewer to disregard any iterations they dislike as taking place in a parallel universe, while maintaining that they’re not violating canon. It’s ingenious! I mean, if you care about what’s canon or not. I don’t. I just don’t watch the episodes I dislike.)

 

It’s a Worf episode, and an unusual one in that it doesn’t hinge on either Klingon politics or his abysmal parenting. It’s often reviled by the fans because it pushes the Worf/Troi romance, but I never minded this pairing. It made sense to me, and their friendship actually did develop over the years: Worf had asked Troi in Ethics to take care of Alexander if he died, and later they formalised that arrangement. They had fun together in A Fistful Of Datas. She counselled him a bunch of times. They shared a mud-bath. The fans often seem to feel that they had no chemistry, but for me, they at least had fun together. Not many of the relationships on the show demonstrated any growth or change, but Worf/Troi managed some.

 

I think the main problem, though, is that Worf/Troi seems incongruous because the characters didn’t change that much over the course of the show – there were no major new characters added to the ensemble (Guinan came close, but was only ever a recurring character; Ro was only in a handful of episodes); Picard and Crusher only sort-of got together in the last episode, and possibly only imaginarily; nobody hooked up with a partner for more than one episode, nobody got promoted and left except maybe Wesley, nothing much changed. So I understand why Worf/Troi seems so bizarre to a lot of people, a major new relationship on a show that really didn’t mix the cast up in that way, a desperate lunge for something to write about in the last season. Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn get a lot of mileage out of it in Parallels, from his reaction when she starts brushing his hair to her grief at losing her husband (although it’s not really explained why her Worf won’t come back – sealing the fissure should return everyone, not just this one Worf out of hundreds of thousands, surely?).

 

It also has Crazy Mega-beardy Riker from the universe overrun by the Borg, a random appearance by Wesley, Data with blue eyes, a couple of bad paintings, cake, and a nearly-naked dead Geordi (which I just find hilariously unnecessary – why was it necessary to strip poor Geordi naked?! Not that I’m not appreciative, but still, he’s supposed to be dead, I'm not going to ogle a dead man. What killed him and yet left him so physically undamaged? Why the shiny flannel on his nethers? Whose idea was this? How did they tell LeVar Burton, “We’re gonna need you to be naked in sickbay wearing a shiny space flannel. We’ll only see you onscreen for a second or two but trust me, it’s vital to the plot.” I have, as they say, Many Questions.)

 

Anyway, it’s all huge fun and nicely constructed, and it’s worthy of the highest compliment I can give a Trek episode, which is “I watch it voluntarily when it comes up on Netflix instead of skipping it”.

 

WINNER: Parallels